We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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