I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
