what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
jump out the window naked night went bad
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