is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
