This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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