Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
