I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
