I'm really into asian looking animals
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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