I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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