Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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