I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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