I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
