Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
