he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
