so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
