Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize