Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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