There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
