She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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