Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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