Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
