Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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