He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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