So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
