Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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