She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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