I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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