so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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