i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
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Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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