There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
