This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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