Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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