Plan B is the new Plan A
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
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Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
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i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.