Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
