sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.