would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
