problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drake has all the answers
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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