I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize