I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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