Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
