Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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