We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize