I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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