I showed him my bush... on skype.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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