Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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