life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
