and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
