in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
