bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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