i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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