we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
