i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
