it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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