You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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