Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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