i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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